Welcome To Insanity

Showing posts with 'ask' tag.

May
20 2013
Q/A

How many concerts have you been to and which one was your favorite?

Oh god, I don’t even know how many for sure, probably 50+ or so? I’d have so many more checked off if money and work weren’t such an issue, they’ve dropped off bigtime the last few years.

Actually here’s *most* of my concerts listed on last.fm http://www.last.fm/user/Topher_Rocks/events/2012. There’s a few that never were events on there and aren’t listed but I’d say they count for about 5 or so shows.

As for favorite… That’s such a tough choice.

All of the Bang Camaro shows I’ve gone to have been amazing. I’ve been a singer with them for maybe half of those shows though so I’m not sure if they should count…

Paramore’s set was amazing when I saw them in 2011 but the rest of that show’s lineup was kinda meh.

Any time I’ve seen That Handsome Devil has been really interesting. Those always draw some unusual crowds so they’re always a blast. Half the time it’s people not knowing what to expect, the other half it’s a dance party.

Thrice is incredible live, those shows don’t stand out much since they were secondary acts, but they’re fantastic.

Same can be said for Alkaline Trio.

I think the winner may need to be Shiny Toy Guns in 2007 at the Highline Ballroom. That show just made me let go of all reservations I had and feel completely free. I don’t know if I’d ever had that from a show before and it’s been pretty rare to experience that since (Paramore and Bang Camaro have achieved it). Fun fact about that show, they had SO much stage fog for their show that it actually tripped the fire alarms in the building. The alarm lights were flashing near the exits and nobody in the place gave a single fuck if the place was actually on fire or not. It was awesome!

reiseincherrywavesofoblivion

May
14 2013
Text
2

lifeisjustadreamonthewaytodeath replied to your post: lifeisjustadreamonthewaytodeath replied to your…

I can relate on most accounts. Is there any funded places that can help, when i was really bad and zombified I managed to find a counselling centre that didn’t charge if you didn’t have money, obviously the care in scotland is far different from that in the us. They must have something to help those feeling so completely lost. I think you need to vent and get help. Understand how your mind works. I wont say i’m 100%. that would be stupid. depression is what it is and never really goes away but I get on with things. I’ve made a big life plan to move to london as theres more chance of an appropriate job. It’s terrifying and i always tell myself i’m useless and i’ll never commit but it’s hope. It’s change. I’ve got to believe that.If life is so suffocating maybe you need to just get the fuck out of that house and live a little. home can be both comfort, security because it keeps us locked in those feelings we are used to. Break the habit.

I’m not too sure about places near by that offer free/low cost psychiatric care. It’s hard enough to find medical care within my price range so it’s kinda not in the picture. I’ve been in and out of various therapist’s offices since I was 7, almost every single time I just get tired of it and remove myself from the situation. I seem to get to a point where it just feels like I’m wasting my time and give up. Last time I saw anyone I was maybe 16 or so. I’ve been on and off a few meds in the past, just results in me taking myself off after a few months out of stubborn pride and wanting to be able to fix myself instead of feeling reliant on a drug for it.

I’d love to find myself in Boston but city life is just so damn expensive and I barely survive as is. I keep thinking over the same loop of needing school for a better job, can’t afford school so I don’t bother and stick with a shit retail job. That kinda stops anything I want to do dead in it’s tracks. I can’t leave here or really keep anything going without money and it’s always in short supply with me.

May
14 2013
Text
4

lifeisjustadreamonthewaytodeath replied to your post: i don’t even think i felt this low in my teens…

You’ve been feeling low…well since i’ve ‘known’ you. What have you done about it? It’s safe to say if you feel that bad something has to change. I’m not saying that in a patronising way I think you know i’ve had my moments to. Whats happening?

That’s crazy to think about like that when I realize how long I’ve known you.

I’m not too sure exactly what is wrong, I’m sorta just fucked in the head, you know?

I’ve grown terribly uneasy in my own skin and fallen back into a lot of the self hate I had in middle and high school.

I feel trapped where I am and can’t see any real way out or to fix it.

I’ve been having random and completely unprovoked anxiety attacks more and more frequently.

I’ve pulled back from anyone I’ve held close and don’t really let myself talk to anyone anymore, pretty much to the point where I don’t feel like I have anyone close in my life anymore.

I don’t feel at home anymore even though I’ve lived in the exact same place my entire life.

My father’s most recent arrest was on pretty major charges seems to be weighing far too heavy on my mind even though I’ve not spoken to him in nearly a decade. For that matter I’ve kept that secret and only told 3 people about that until now.

My mother battling her own demons and letting them drive huge wedge between us has been creating stress.

I find myself growing increasingly paranoid thinking the worst of what people think.

I’ve grown moody and irritable and almost never feel good about anything. There’s obviously highs and lows but the highs just feel like small distractions more than anything real.

I can probably keep going for hours to be honest. I just feel so stuck.

Apr
18 2013
Q/A

Do you have a link to the scanner, or are you listening to it on something other than the computer?

I’m listening on my phone. There’s an app called Scanner Radio. This should be a stream of the exact feed I’m listening to now, though. http://www.broadcastify.com/listen/feed/6254

It seems to have settled down for the most part and I’m only hearing calls about other incidents in the city right now.

Anonymous

Apr
18 2013
Q/A

What is your opinion on guns?

I’m kinda torn and undecided on them. I’m really not a fan of them in any form but I sorta see some need for them at the same time. It’s a really broad issue, I see the need for better background checks and taking into account mental health when selling them. I do think they need to be far better regulated and that there’s no need for anything more powerful than a handgun to be in civilian hands. By no means do I have any answers and truthfully, I’ve never touched a real gun before but I’m not someone who sees the need for them either, being in the presence of them makes me pretty uncomfortable.